What does God have to say to Husbands and Wives?

Depending on the spiritual background of whom you ask, you might get different answers. What does the Bible say? One thing that we should all easily agree on is that through the gospel, God places equal value on women as He does on men.

[27] For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. [28] There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:27-28 ESV

Galatians 3:27-28 affirms that in God’s view, men and women are equal heirs to salvation through faith in Jesus. No separate atonement was made for man than for woman. God paid the highest price possible for both as there could never be a higher price than His own blood.

We also observe that this standing in Christ is conferred upon all believing men and women without regard to marital status. Men and women in a marriage are just as equal in this regard before God as single men and women. But wait, it gets better. the married man and woman have an additional dimension to their relationship that is unique to the marital relationship.

[18] Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. [19] Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:18-19 ESV

[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

[1] Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, [2] when they see your respectful and pure conduct. [3] Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— [4] but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. [5] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, [6] as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

[7] Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7

[1] But as for you, teach what accords with sound[a] doctrine. [2] Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. [3] Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, [4] and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, [5] to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. [6] Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. [7] Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, [8] and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Titus 2:1-8

Questions:

  • In what ways do the Scriptures say men and women are equal?
  • In what ways do the Scriptures say men and women are not equal?
  • What is a husband’s unique responsibility to his wife?
  • What is a wife’s unique responsibility to her husband?
  • What if a husband or wife is a non-believer?
  • What if a husband isn’t behaving in a godly manner?
  • What if a wife isn’t behaving in a godly manner?
  • How do these passages describing God’s design for marriage point to the Gospel?
  • What can we conclude that Scripture has to say about mutual submission in marriage?